I know they may seem practical, or comfortable or like “”a good choice”” but rest assured, I’m here to tell you that’s a LIE. I don’t want to see your hairy toes!! Also- they don’t match your outfit, and that’s a promise. There are five instances in which it is apporpriate to wear flip flops. 1- If you are taking your dog out. 2- If you are at sleepaway camp. 3- If you are in a shower. 4- If you are at the beach. 5- If you are at a pool. What does this not include? Day to day activities. Why not? BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER SHOES FOR YOU TO WEAR MEN, DEAR LORD. SO- here are five other shoes that are just as easy to wear as flip flops, but won’t make you look lazy and like you don’t know how to dress well. PS- click through the labeled photos to shop XO.
“Oh, I don’t like actually lacing up shoes or putting effort into my shoes” Men- this is no longer an excuse. The Beatles wore em, men of Britain wear em and I promise you, if you invest in a pair of Chelsea Boots women will love it oh and so will you! You’ll look dapper in with minimal effort. Pair em with your darkest wash jeans, a simple tee shirt and a leather jacket and you’re solid.
Maybe you’re too “nonchalant” for Chelsea Boots, that’s chill. Wear some damn Vans then. You don’t even have to get the kind that lace, although they tend to look sexier and less 2009 than their checkered slip-on alternatives. But again- Vans are more comfortable, look better and require just as little effort as your damn flops. Also- look at these guys. They’re literally wearing a tee shirt and jeans and look 100 times better than any man in flops. Jeez.
Dr. Martens are a classic and they look good on everyone. Seriously, you can get a canvas pair or a leather pair, a thick or thin soled pair. If they’re good enough for punks, they’re good enough for you. Dress em up or down, your choice. If you’re worried about your feet getting sweaty, it’s a sacrifice that will be worth it when you see how good you look.
Again this goes out to all my minimal effort men. Have you ever stuck your foot in a loafer or a slip-on sneaker? Probably not, or you wouldn’t be wearing your flip flops. These things literally feel like you’re wearing a slipper. And you’ll look good, almost like royalty. Seriously though, you can get these at Zara or Target or pretty much anywhere that you know, sells real shoes, and they don’t have to be expensive. You literally don’t even have to put something between your toes like a thong- and you’ll look dapper.
So men, dear men, dear men who I love, please please PLEASE.
JUST STOP THE FLOP.
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE