You never expected it to happen. The word itself never even crossed your mind. But one day, you wrap your mind around it like a sweater that’s been sitting at the bottom of your drawer for ages- one that never fit until just now. Outsider. It’s like a cloak has been lifted- a thin, gossamer veil shining opalescent in your peripheral vision for as long as you can remember. Suddenly there’s a name for the feeling and it’s found its way onto your flesh.
Step 1: Acknowledge ItIt only feels off at first. Like the balance has been shifted. As soon as you see yourself from a perspective beyond your own, you have the power to change your situation. And the thing with being an outsider is that sometimes it doesn’t even feel like you don’t belong. Sometimes the way you perceive the nuances of life are just different- a slightly different tone or melody. A color shaded a little differently. A feeling worn a little bit heavier than those surrounding you. You coexist- but sometimes you feel like you’re living life on the other side of a veil, one that’s far less inhabited than the mortal realm. No matter how far you wander, no matter how far removed you may feel, it’s okay. Taking time to figure out the way which you move through this world, no matter how different it may be from someone else, is all you need to exist inside your own reality.
2. Own ItThere will never be anyone else who sees the world from your view. There is no macrocosm without a microcosm. You are just as important as everyone dwelling inside whatever perceived bubble you may see. And one of the things about living life looking in is that you have to remember there is no outside. There is no inside. There is no us versus them. There is just you. Talk to your demons. Learn what it is they’re strangling and grip hold of it and listen to the message it’s holding onto. The only way to live life askew is to do it on your own terms. Cast your fist up to the skies, and promise yourself that in spite of everything that has made you feel- compartmentalized or less than or not good enough- the only person you have to prove yourself to is you. If you already live life as an outsider, if you already feel different or absurd, then why wouldn’t you tackle the beast of your originality and wrestle it head on? Own it. Wear whatever you want. Listen to whatever you want. Do whatever you want. There is no one left to judge you.
Step 3: Let It GoOne day you’ll get it. You’ll understand why you felt like you never had a place to fit into. You’re expected to conform to a singular mold. But you are vast. Infinite. You are oceans. Fluid- unable to decide on one way to see things. And one day you will realize- you are different. Like a cloud, you will float along in technicolor daydreams wearing your vintage hat and headscarf until the bubble you have submerged yourself in pops. And you’re back to your reality- one that doesn’t confine any spiritual experience to human terms. You feel like an outsider because you are made of stars and stardust. Let it go. You were never meant to feel human in this life.Hat:: Sid & Nancy’s// Headscarf:: Strange Magick// Dress:: Urban Outfitters// Boots: H&M All photos by amazing twin Alexandra Herstik.
Never be ashamed of who you are.